What I Taught My Puppy First

My new Doodle, Darcy, is 5 months old now. And I’ve been applying the same lessons I teach my puppy clients. I didn’t start with Sit, Down, and Stay.

Here’s what I want all pet parents to know.

When puppies (and adult dogs too) understand that they can get what they want (attention, treats, toys, petting, or play) for doing the behaviors we like, we’re providing the information and motivation for these behaviors to become good habits.  

At the same time, we’re building a relationship of clarity, predictability, and trust. And that makes our dogs far more likely to be happy, confident, relaxed, and generally well-behaved—and less likely to develop fears or anxiety. With these foundations, we can cultivate optimism, as well as resilience to the inevitable stressors that we can’t avoid.

While many puppy parents prioritize Sit, Down, and Stay, I would argue that the more important goals (besides house training) for puppies are: 

1.   Attention to Name: to look at you whenever he hears his name, even with distractions. And let’s find an irresistible sound as a back-up (so you don’t repeat their name over and over with slow or no response), 

2.   Say Please: to sit automatically whenever he wants something--and also when he’s not sure what to do,

3.   Recall, which also gives you a positive way to interrupt an undesirable behavior,

4.   Impulse control: to resist grabbing things within reach. This is a foundation, like Say Please, that also teaches how to slow down and think first, versus just responding to temptations or commands.

5.   Socialization, or taking puppies out in the world, is super-important too. It doesn’t mean greeting or playing with unfamiliar dogs (too risky!) or new people. It means feeling comfortable in the presence of different types of people, dogs, other animals, various things that move and make noise, and busy environments, wherever you plan to take your puppy later on. 

Socialization can work by simply standing (or sitting) back from The Thing or The Action and letting your puppy observe while feeling safe with you, at a distance. He can learn a lot just by taking in the sights and smells, without going into the deep end of the experience.

Don’t ever put your puppy in a situation where he looks shy, unhappy, or scared, expecting that he’ll discover the scary person/dog/thing is actually "fine" or maybe even fun. Despite your good intentions, pushing him forward can actually teach him that he can’t trust you to keep him safe, and nobody wants that. It can also backfire in other ways.

Giving your puppy the time and choice whether to approach or not is really the best way to build confidence and prevent certain fears.